Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A letter to Zoe on her third birthday

Dear Zoe,

Forgive me. You turn three tomorrow and I'm feeling schmoopy.

It's funny to remember this night three years ago, when we knew you'd be with us the next day and our life was going to change. I was terrified and excited and I couldn't wait to meet you and I don't think I slept more than two hours that night.

And then the next day you were there and nothing was ever the same.

In those early months, we had no idea what you'd turn into, but now we're starting to get a pretty good feel for you. Here's what we know so far.

You have an amazing sense of humor. You make us laugh by whispering silly things in our ears, by singing nonsense songs and by laughing SO hard at yourself that you wind up shrieking.

You dance like Elaine from Seinfeld.

You are bloody brilliant. You're just turning three, and already your teacher is telling us that we can push you at home because there's no limit to what you can learn. You can read about a dozen words and you are SO close to being able to write your own name without our help.

Your drawings are suddenly mini-masterpieces with intricate, intriguing details.

When you want to cuddle, you're the sweetest thing I've ever seen and you give amazingly strong hugs.

But you aren't always sweet. Sometimes your angry and frustrated emotions build up inside of you and we're working on saying things like "I'm mad" instead of lashing out with your little fists, and I can see that you try SO HARD. And I love you for how hard you try.

You love your pets and are unfailingly gentle with them. I've never had to tell you that tails are not for pulling.

Sometimes I get frustrated with you, and I'm sorry. It's typically when you ask me the same question over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Today, you actually asked me "What's cook," as if you hadn't helped me cook dinner a hundred times already.

I also get angry when you don't go to bed, and I'm sorry for that too. I know you just want to stay with us, to see what the world has to offer when the sun goes down. But you need your rest, and 6:00 a.m. comes early, and since you rarely sleep past then even on the weekends, I need you in bed by 7:30 each night. So I'm sorry I get grouchy.

And I love you. I love seeing what each day will bring.

Three years ago, I was scared on this night. Tonight, I'm just....happy. I have no idea what you will want to do tomorrow on your special day. Will we go to the beach? The aquarium? Who knows. But whatever we do, we'll do it together, just you, me and Daddy, and we"ll have a great time.

Because you're great. Totally, wonderfully, super-great. Happy birthday, my love.

Love,
Mom

No comments:

Post a Comment